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The Goblin On Route 3
Hia kiddies, just your old pal, CREEPS here SLAYING a little SHOCK AND ROLL on my HUMAN-GUT GUITAR ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! I seemed to have BUGGED my NEIGHBOOS when I played hits from THE BEATLES, so I played a few songs from THE BYRDS and they just FLEW THE COOP hee-hee-hee. But here is a TERROR-TUNE for you all to listen to that I call... On the outskirts of Quebec, Canada, a green Chevy drove down a country-road passed a sign reading: "ROUTE 3" during a night back in 1960. A young man was at the wheel and Buddy Holly sang, "Peggy Sue" on the car-radio. The young man was approaching a curb on Route 3, when suddenly a shadowy-figure dashed across the road in his headlights. The thing was short and quick, making the young man gasp in surprise. He kept on driving, but he saw that it was too dark all around. The man soon pulled into a driveway in some woods, in front of a small cabin. He went over to the cabin next-door, waving at his neighbor. "Hello Randy" the older neighbor said to the young man. "Hia Paul, I saw something a bit weird on my way home here tonight" Randy explained to the older neighbor. "You took Route 3 eh?" Paul asked him. "Yes" Randy said. "Then you saw that old goblin. Settlers to the area had seen it also, and I saw it at dusk once when I was a boy!" Paul explained to Randy. An hour later, Randy poured a bottle of Popov Vodka into a big cup of orange juice, making a Screwdriver. He drank it and walking out of the kitchen, heard a young woman on the phone in the front room. "I will see you tomorrow then darling. I love you too Hank. Goodbye" she said on the phone and hung up. Randy rushed back into the kitchen and said to himself: "Ellen has been cheating on me even though we're married!!!". Then Randy scratched his beard, thinking. "Hi honey, how about a nice night drive?" Randy asked his wife, who was still standing beside the phone. "Hi Sweetheart, why, sure" she agreed. A few minutes later, Randy and his wife were in the green Chevy together, as Randy drove around the curb on Route 3. "So, Ellen, um, we are gonna park right over here" Randy told her. "Alright" Ellen said. Randy did and he looked at Ellen. "You have been seeing another man, Ellen" he told her. "Yes, Randy, I have. And before you say anything else, he is much more attractive than you are" Ellen admited and went on. Randy looked around in his headlights and saw the shadowy-figure dash into the road in them. The figure beat on the car, growling deeply and Ellen screamed. Randy could see the goblin's flesh that was green and mossy. Its eyes were huge and solid-black, with long and skinny-fangs and claws of yellow. The monster was dressed in a red robe and hood. "Say hello to it Ellen my dear!!" Randy told her, seeing it reach out to her. Ellen screamed in horror, as the goblin bit into her cheek and Randy pushed her out of his Chevy into its clawing-grasp. The creature drug her into the dark and Randy heard it feeding on her, Ellen's screams fell quiet. He pulled his car around and drove off turning at the curb on Route 3. Talk about CONCRETE EVIDENCE of the goblin for Randy eh? Ellen was DRIVING HIM CRAZY indeed heh-heh-heh. He could've gotten ROAD RAGE in the end, but the monster was just GOBLIN HER UP aha-ha-ha-ha-ha!